Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
