Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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