I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
