I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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