I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize