I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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