I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
