you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
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We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
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I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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