Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
