i think my tv is drunk
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Randomize