He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
