my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
