We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
