uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
