I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
