have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
