Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
did you just send me my own nude
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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