What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
