I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
