the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
