last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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