I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
