Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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