so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
