when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
