i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
