ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize