if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
