I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
