He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
