I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
