shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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