I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
