I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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