i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
