Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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