It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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