My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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