This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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