Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
