Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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