The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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