I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
