I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just found puke in my bra..
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
