Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
