Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
