Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just had sex on a roof
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
