And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
