Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
