I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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