Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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