go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
