question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
