I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
