whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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