I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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