last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
