Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Randomize
