I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
